Lazy to put a Latin title this time

After a turbulent few weeks, N is back at B&G.

N : B&G, I feel so stressed.

G : Why why why?

N : So many issues on my mind le. PPP suddenly has 2 presidents, Perak has 2 menteri besar, but since after A got bombed, I only got 1 lover left.

G : Lol. You notty boy!!

B : N, why you didn’t wanna contest in Penanti? Scared ah?

N : Noooo la. Who said I’m not contesting?

G : ???

N : Haih, you poor innocent souls. You see, although I didn’t put an official candidate there, I’m using a different tactic this time.

B : Wah, how how?

N : Easy. I bought over Ms. A, asked her to contest as an independent against PKR, then asked her to threaten to reveal some nasty stuff about PKR.

G : That way, the voters will think PKR is such a badddd party, and they won’t think that BN are behind this evil instigation of a dirty campaign!

N : You’re getting smarter, G! Look's like you’re recovering well…Hehe.

B : So pro! But you still made a mess in Perak.

G : Yalor. That Z has the guts to compare himself to Mandela & Gandhi.

N : Nola, that retard is only saying that they share the same skin colour.

B&G : LOL!

B : But I was quite surprised that you let the High Court rule against you.

N : Aiya, that was just a ploy ma. You’ve never heard of Appeal before meh?

G : Apple?

N : No, its… APPEAL.

G : Ohhhh

N : Yessss I did that to impress everyone, including Prez’ O in America!

Prez’ O : I was PUNK’ed!!!!

N : Ngek ngek ngek!

B&G : ………………

Photoshop CS3 Finale Part II

(this is a reply to G’s post. Lol)

Studentsss : Prof B!

Prof B : Yessss my sweet sexy students, what’s the problem?

Studentsss : Prof G promised to teach us photoshop, but all he did was show off his work le.

Prof B : Is it!?!? How unprofessional. Come come let me show you some ‘tips’

Studentsss : Yay!!!

Prof B : Do you know what is wrong with these pictures?

Studentsss : When we first look at the picture, we first notice the woman running!

Prof B : Sooo clever!! Muaks

Studentsss : …………

Prof B : So what is important when we are doing a billboard adv is that we must project the BRAND! As you can see the brand (UniSA) is at the far bottom corner.

Studentsss : Ouuuuuuu

Prof B : So let me show you the perfect ad.

Studentsss : The quality is almost like Prof G’s de.

Prof B : You mean as good as his?

Studentsss : No, we mean as bad. LOL.

Prof B : ………………

Photoshop CS2 Finale ^^

Prof G : Good morning students.

Studentsss : Good morning Prof G!

Prof G : ngek ngek ngek. Today... I gonna teach you.. how to design a billboard.

Studentsss : yes Prof G!! Bravo!! bravo!!

Prof G : FIRST! create a new canvas with size 1280 x 720 pixels.

Studentssss : yes Prof G!!

Prof G : THEN! add in or type anything you likey. Pls look at my sample.

Studentsss : Looks good Prof G!!

Prof G : ahem ahem hehe. THEN!! I dont care how you do it, make it LOOK ORGANISED. See my sample.



Studentsss : yes Prof G.....

Prof G : THEN!! time to DIY. Give some magic touches to your work. See mine see mine.



Studentsss : yes Prof G..... ...... ......

Prof G : LAST STEP! find a picture and paste your work in it. See my sample again!



Prof G : understand students??

Studentsss : you like didn't teach at all le..... !!!

Prof G : opssssss. Didn't I tell you all that I'm not a Photoshop lecturer?


(Prof G's post hahaha)

画一画, 油一油.

G : B, I think I'm good in watercolour painting le ^^

B : ohh? show me your watercolour pic thn.

G : pls look down a bit.



B : OMG, it's OHHHSOME!! is IKEA!

G : not bad right?? I still remember I got 57 marks in my Pendidikan Seni in secondary school.

B : so high??!!

G : are you jealous edi?? yesssssssSS

B : errr, not really la, because I got a pic almost looks like your drawing de. Look down pls.

G : ...................... opssss ^^

(G's drawing)

fluctuatio

 

G : B, it’s been a long time since you’ve blogged… what’s up? I thought there was a week’s holidays…

B : Study break ma, I thought no need to blog. Hehe.

G : ……… I’ve been on a break for about 9 months, and yet I still blog…

B : You’re too free la.

G : 0o0o0o so you must be very busy? What have you been doing??

B : I went to Zouk! CLEO’s 50 Most Eligible Bachelor Finals Party!

G : 你 OK 吗 ?? You go there to see guys?

B : U see G, when there is an event that feature hot guys such as this, surely there’ll be a lot of hot girls who’ll be there also ma.

G : Ooh, you’re so clever… But but, by hot girls you mean CMT and ASLY?

B : Ermm…

G : What time were you home? Your mummy daddy didn’t scold you?

B : I’m 22 already la.

G : I’m …I’m…21 but my mummy still don’t let me go out at night.

B : U cannot dance ma, your new bone marrow cannot take the intense vibrations. Lol.

G : …………

B : Hehe. Anyway, you must be a pro like me!

G : How?? Teach me teach me!

B : First, as you approach your house, mati-kan your car engine, but leave your handbrake down, and your gear shift to D. Your car will slowly glide down silently to your front porch.

G : What is mati-kan engine?

B : Means off your engine la noob…

G : Oh oh… then???

B : Then do not use your car alarm to lock your car doors. Lock it manually. Likewise, if your house has an autogate, manually open and close the gate, cause some gates create lots of noise when it closes, if it is made of cheap material like mine…

G : Oh Mr B, you’re so clever!! you’re my idol!

B : So where you wanna go tonight? MOS? Zouk? Barcelona?

G : Hehe see first ya, tell you tomorrow

(the next day)

B : So G, going?

G : Not sure yet leh. Tell you soon ya…

(the next day)

B : Going, G?? Faster decide la

G : Erm will let you know ASAP

(the next day)

B : Oi G, tonight on or not??

G : My momma say swine flu… better don’t go out…

B : …………

CHI CHAK!!

G : B, let me show you some of my photoshop masterpieces

B : oh, come on show me!!

G : this is my latest April 09 masterpiece

B : wow!! not bad! but obviously you got no hair yet hehehehe

G : ..... there are also some older masterpieces which I made in SJMC or at home last yr.

G : I think I made this in SJMC. It looks like a graveyard hahahaha

B : ooo, this looks like the one u put in your msn display pic!!

G : this is our nato's blog header!!

B : I guess no one go to the blog liao after you put up the header..

G : oh noooo... now I know why... opsssss

B : SO, do you have any failed example to show? those you cannot let ppl see one??

G : hahaha, I have actually, let me show you too!

G : some ppl might say it looks nice but it's not supposed to end up this way haha

B : I heard you also tried some photo effect right?? using real people?

G : ya... you.. sure you want to see??

B : YES!

B : HAHAHAHAHA! why CMT look so greeeeen??? you just applied the gradient effect?!!

G : nooooo, I see ppl do very nice but surely sth went wrong when i tried hahaha!!

B : I think CMT will come after you soon!

G : that's why I use my photos for experiment now hehehe

dont't worry CMT, this pic will stay only in B&G lol

(G's post)

Totoro

B : hey G, last few weeks, you told me your weight is bout 62 kg right??

G : ya, why suddenly ask me again??

B : oh no no no, I just want to know if you are back in shape or gain more nia

G : oo, kkk. my latest weight is... is... 68kg..

B : omg!! Are u ok aa? Any putus cinta aa?

G : ..... I thought I lost some weight at first le, haihh... I think I look like Totoro now.

B : wow! you mean the famous japanese star??!!

G : ..... my dear B, totoro is laaaa!!



(Totoro Low's post)

frater obsisto foramen

(bros before holes)

G : B…

G : B…

G : B!!!

B : Huh?? Oh! Oh!

G : ………… Stop listening to your iPod touch la.. it’s blogging time!

B : Sigh

G : Why sigh? You just got your new iTouch wo…not happy?

B : Happy le…but…

G : Sad because you don’t have a special someone to share with?

B : I…I…

G : Eh B, last time you told me, you almost got together with J.

B : That was long time ago le…2 years ago

G : Why didn’t you get together with her? What happened?

B : Why suddenly you’re asking about this?

G : Suddenly thought of it. Lol. Curious ma, cause the both of you almost made it.

B : Well…well… one of her reservations was… because she kinda knew my ex, C. So it’s like J and C are friends, and she just felt that it’s weird.

G : Ohhhhh. Like that also can feel weird meh? I don’t get it wo. Love means love la.

B : Okay I give you an example. If let’s say you couple with R. Then one day you break up. Then after that I couple with R. How would you feel then?

G : If like that then Chronicles of B&G sure close down already. Hahahaha

B : That’s exactly my point

G : And then hor, continuing that example you gave, A is both our good friend. How’d you think he’ll react to this?

B : I think A will be speechless. Split. Torn in between… Helpless…

G : Oooh I see. So I guess J can be highly commended for her to put her friendship with C first before committing into a relationship that will potentially jeopardize their friendship.

B : Yes

G : Hmm. but too bad, because of that, you remain single. Nyahahaha. Oopss…

B : ……………

जगा फोन को

(wake up call)

G : Bakkie, someone from TBS called me just now...

B : yess, finally they decide to kick you out from TBS??

G : ... the lady asked me why I didn't go to class till today...

B : what did you say then???

G : I politely cakappp, "I handed in 2 letters-one from my doc and one from my father-to F on Feb liao."

B : ohh, prob solved thn!

G : I think F didn't process the letters well hehe, so the lady faxed me some forms to fill again.

B : ok..means they are going to process your case now la.What you want to complain actually??

G : errr...errr.. I dont feel like going back TBS that soon hahahahaha

(G's post)

純粋なクラップ

(pure crap)

B : EH, is your turn to update our blog la.

G : oh oh, now updating hehe!! any clues for today's post?? or any breaking news??

B : errr, today someone went for a funny inteview called "come-get-a-girlfriend".

G : failed already?

B : yesss, the boy said he want to jump.. BUT I dun think so

G : I wonder who's the boy..btw, I watched "Marley and Me" today and I .. I.. cried a lilll bit

B : because of Jennifer Aniston??

G : NO laa, because of Marley the dog haha

B : ohhh..

G : I thought you want to sell your 5 years old Indian Star tortoise??

B : yess, why??

G : To plan for our future, we should keep it as our pet! treat the tortoise like our child!! thn only I decide whether I want to have children or not~

B : Are you OK today?? dont want talk to you anymore..

G : ..............

(G's COTD a.k.a Crap Of The Day)

fide et labore

(with faith and zeal)

After his first 48 hours as No.1, we are once again delighted to have N on our blog.

G : N, what were you doing at Petaling Street?

B : And you drank Teh O Ais Limau! Love you N! Muah.

N : Well, during our last interview, I saw B’s fantastic watch. I knew I had to get one. Hehe. Oh, and TOAL is to die for. Delicious. Way better than my usual Black Label.

B : But, N, you’re so rich and powerful now. Shouldn’t you be able to afford an original one? You got so much commission from the nuclear submarine deals. (jealous). I still haven’t got my commission from my tuition deal yet. (hint)

N : Well, now recession ma, cannot simply buy RM10-20k watches you know. Besides, to show that I’m “One” with the rakyat, I must wear what they wear too. Nyahaha.

G : Ouuu. Eh N, why did you remove the ban on the two newspapers?

B : Yalor, I thought you said you wanted to save money la, save the trees la… And the 13 ISA Detainees! Why did you release them?

N : Hehehe. Fooled you guys huh? Now it’s my 100 honeymoon period ma, and we have 3 by-elections some more. So I better make popular decisions lo. After 100 days, throw them back to Kamunting, and ban those papers again. But don’t tell anyone. Ssshhh.

G : Wah you’re so pro!

B : Yea. We have much to learn…

G : I heard… B and N were from the same school. Is that true?

B & N : Let us march on to glory! Let us surge on to fame! Let us raise our voices and our hearts! Onward, onward St. John’s! Onward, onward, onward St. John’s!!

G : …………

Fast & Furious Part 2

G : yoooo B!!

B : you look happy now!!

G : yes, I went to the Gardens just now!!

B : is that sth strange or unusual??

G : for me yes laaa. Eh, for 7 months I didn't go to the crowd, so the feeling is like I'm just being released from the jail haha.

B : sounds more like a horny monster escaped from the cave...

G : hahaha, I must admit that I saw many new xiao gu niangss and xiao mei meiss!! eyes a bit sore now..Opsss.

B : ..... I knew it. EH, btw, why you choose to go Gardens?

G : errrr.... I went to collect book from Borders actually.

B : ...........................

(G's post)

Fast & Furious Part 1

B : hey G, you look serious. What's up??

G : hmmm, I'm a bit stress.

B : Doing assignment? I thought you free 24 hrs nowadays?

G : haha, is bout my body la. I think is time to tell you the truth. Are u ready B?

B : yes...

G : Actually, my plalet level never reach the min lvl since transplant. My immune system is not functioning normally. After 3 months, it looks like the viral infection is still strong. Whenever the medicine is reduced, my platlet dropped also.

B : Ohno, so what the doctor said?

G : today, he said sth like "I cant tell" , " strange" , "unusual" .

B : huh??? means you are dying?

G : not yet hehe. Although is a bad sign for a doctor to say sth like this, he said the situation is irrelevant to leukemia. It's infection. But is wth kind of viral infection is still unknown. So Monday I have to do marrow test.

B : ohh, so means you OK la? Are u feeling normal now?? Anything strange??

G : hehe, I'm feeling normal so far. Hopefully monday is a good day for me!!! WIll you be there for me Bakkie??

B : I'm always here for you Giappy~ (hug together)

G : ouuu, I'm so touched!

There are things that I want to achieve in life, please dont put a stop to me ..yet.

(G's wish)

canicula

(bitch)

(G bumps into B)

G : Ouch! B…what are you doing here?? Aren’t you supposed to be at class?

B : I… I…

G : Someone dumped you?

B : Nola…but…sigh…

G : But I guess it was your fault anyway right??

B : True also…but still…

G : You’re saying that you’re being treated unfairly?

B : That’s how I feel, and…

G : And you think that students your age shouldn’t be treated this way?

B : Well I’m not saying that, but…

G : So you’re gonna file a complaint?

B : I thought of doing that but…

G : But you think that would be a foolish and immature way to handle this situation?

B : Well, I was feeling a little…

G : Upset? Hurt?

B : Yea, and…

G : Hahaha.

B : Can you let me talk?

G : Oopss. Ok ok. Go ahead.

B : I had a dream last night.

G : Wet dream???

B : I dreamt about boarding a plane to Adelaide secretly…and once I’m there, I went to visit Y-H, P, and SK.

G : Ooh and then?

B : And then we went shopping at the mall… and then we had BBQ party at their house.

G : So long NATO never had BBQ party…

B : We NEVER had BBQ party. Lol.

G : Oopss. I think this dream means you’re trying to escape all your troubles, and you miss your friends soo much. But I wonder why you never dream of me.

B : I thought this dream means that I should go for BBQ soon.

G : ……

ascendo ab auctoritas

(rise to power)

Today we’re inviting a special, honourable, and very very very important guest to our blog. Fresh from getting something he dearly wants without clearly earning it, he’s none other than N.

(N bumps into G)

N : Ouch! Why is it so dark in here?

G : Earth Hour ma, lights are off

N : ………

B : So how are you feeling, N?

N : I’m good. I’m in a mood for change! Change in my party’s constitution! Change in the quota system! Change in th……

G : We can see that you’ve change into your undies.

N : OMG OMG OMG! How can you see that? I thought all lights are off for Earth Hour?

B : It’s already 9.30, N. So why are you in your undies?

N : Well I’ve got this meeting with a special person for a hot night of passion. Hehe..

G : Wah so dangerous. What if your wife finds out? Or if this girl keep stalking you?

N : Easy. Just bomb her with C4 Explosives la

G : What'’s a C4??

B : There, the one the terrorists use one in CS. (Counter-Strike, not Chye Soon)

G : Ouuuuu

B : But N, you’re not scared the police come after you meh?

N : Aiya. Scared what? Last time when I was No.2, I still can get myself out of trouble. What more if I’m No.1 now?

G : You the man N!

B : Eh N, why did you ban the 2 opposition newspapers?

N : Oh oh. Because I only read the Star, NST, Utusan, etc. So what for waste money print so many newspapers? Waste money nia. Especially now recession period.

G : Waste the trees printing so many newspapers also!

N : OK come, I bring you all visit this girl using my new submarine.

G : Wah Nuclear Subs wor. Where we going?

N : Azerbaijan. My 2nd favourite country after M.

B : M for Malaysia?

N : M for Mongolia!

G : ………

B : One last question, N, what impression do you think you can impose on the public that is different from your predecessor?

N : Well, for starters, I won’t fall asleep at 99% of my official functions!

B,G & N : HAHAHAHA, LOL, ROFL, LMAO