Move On Pls

For the past one and a half year, no one dare to say that his/her situation was worse than mine, yet a lot of them lived in an easy-get-emo mode. Go Facebook for example, I bet one can find lots of emo posts/thoughts. This is my hobby. I like to find out why people are upset. Although some posts were real and worth one's tears, times and times again I noticed pretense.

Thoughts determine destiny.

I never expect myself to step back to the hospital ward and daycare chemo centre. The nurses are friendly to me, but I dont really want to make friends with them as a patient. Perhaps as a visitor?

I had the darkest 3 days in my life. When doctor told me the disease is coming back, he was in fact actually telling me "If you dont do sth now, you will die." How many people can take this hit?

I lost my direction. I thought I could finish my degree and probably working. But now this is an impossibility. However, deep inside my heart, I still want to be a great investor! I know I can do it if I'm cured. You're healhty now, what do you want to be??

Financially, pshcologically, physically, I wished someone can share my burdens. I take 50% you take 50%. Deal?

When young adults are clubbing and drinking in the middle of the night, I'm taking chemo as my beer. You want some??

Every morning I wake up, with my yellow face and pale lips, with some losing hairs, I smiled to myself, saying "this could be the day when things turn around." How bout you?? lazy and frustrated to go study and work?

Losing my girlfried/boyfriend, I feel sad. I feel pain in my heart. I dont want to live anymore. I feel hopeless, My life is meaningless now without him/her. I hate that bitch. That bitch spoiled our reationship. I live in darkness now. I lost my motivation. I dont want to study anymore. Okie, so what? then how abut if you step into my situation?? I would be very happy to be in your situation. I'm serious, I dont mind losing any boyfriend/girlfriend now, because I know if I lose my life just one time, it will be over. I repeat, it will be over. Still obssessed with your boyfriend/girlfriend problems??

Let's move on people. If I can do it, why cant you ?

Just do It Kien Giap!!

It's sad to know that my leukemia has relapsed.

Too many things that I have to let go this time.. like my UniSA life, the search for a soul mate lol and things that a 21 yr old guy should do.

I nearly give up when I heard this news, knowing that my life might have come to an end soon. It's exactly one year since my last transplant on 12 Jan 2009.

Sometimes I think if I have to be a baddd boy in exchange for health, thn I will be really willing to do it!! but that's only my innocent thought.

I still have another 50% of cure rate, this could be achieved if there's a match to my marrow and if I can pass through the 50% of mortality during the transplant. I feel helpless when I think of these, it's really a matter of death or alive.

At this point of time, I cant give up yet. It's really really frustrating that I need to go through the cycle again. I'm scared yet I have to be brave, smile to the dangers. My family is giving me full support!! Yet at the same time, I think I'm really a burden to them. My sister will quit her job as dentist in singapore back to look after me and it will costs my father near to 1 million if I go through all stages.. I owe them alot..

God has given me a road where there's no way back. This is a big test for me. I believe, if I can make it through, I will be someone in the future. If I fail, the only way out is death. I wont say I will fight alone this time, but with the power of friendship and my dearest family.